Schools Out!

This week, summer vacation began for elementary school kids all over Ontario. This really has no effect on my life whatsoever but my Dad happened to drop by this week and left me a bag of old awards and badges from my own school days. It brought back memories.

I should point out here, I didn’t like school. Not one bit. I loathed every minute of it, from Kindergarten, straight through to my last day of high school. For that reason, the last day before summer break was always my favourite day of the year. It was like being sprung from prison. That being said, I think I surprised a lot of people when I actually pursued a post secondary education and then continued on, into my late 20s. I found University and College, much more my style.

Every June, from grades 1 to 8, there would be an assembly to distribute certificates and badges for participation and achievements over the year. I don’t have many. I’m not trying to be self deprecating here, there just weren’t many awards to recognize introverted, day dreaming, book worms.

Of the recognition I did receive, several badges and certificates suggest that I was proficient at many things. One can easily conclude, as a child, I was adequately competent and I’m ok with that. We can’t all be athletes and scholars.

Here are a few of my other notable childhood accomplishments:

I have a vague recollection of this competition. It took place when I was in the 1st grade and involved riding around orange cones. I can only assume I won this for not falling off my bicycle.

I looked in my photo album hoping to find a picture of my bike, but I don’t seem to have one. I can tell you this though: it was royal blue with a white banana seat. It was a sweet ride.

Folks, gather round and let me tell you about the time I was a champion Nucomb Baller.

Actually, I don’t remember this at all. I have no idea what Nucomb ball is, much less ever having played it.

According to Wikipedia, it’s like volleyball, and this line best explains why I was involved:

Today Nucomb ball is not widely played on a competitive basis, but remains a popular game for people with limited athletic ability…

Limited athletic ability.

Yep, that sounds about right.

Speaking of my athletic shortcomings, I find it unbelievable that this belongs to me. I cannot even fathom what I could have done to earn this.

All I remember about our school’s mandatory, annual Track and Field day, was hiding out in the ladies room when it was my turn to line up for events. My only hope was that they’d stop calling my name and start without me.

My greatest accomplishment of the 5th grade was being there.

I’m still really good at being around. Especially if there’s food, and certainly if there’s wine.

With that, I’d like to propose a toast to all of us who survived our school years being adequate, competent, and of course, proficient.

Cheers to us!

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1 Comment

  1. “Limited athletic ability.” Hahaha! Yeah… gym was my least favorite class. I probably exerted more energy weasling out of stuff than had I just participated.
    These are adorable!
    I always got “most conscientious student”. Whatever that’s supposed to mean. I think I was just a kiss ass.

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